 The only one-size-fits-all mold for this pandemic is that we all have to follow the same rules of social distancing, isolation, and hygiene. Other than that we are all still completely different, unique, and special. Have you ever heard someone say, “When they made you, they broke the mold.”? That means you’re one of a kind. There’s none like you. You are an original. There's just no one exactly the same. In some cases that saying is changed to, "I hope they broke the mold for that one!" referring to a person way over the top in personality that makes people shake their heads and say, “I just don’t believe it. Who does that? Who says that?” So are molds good or bad? Well, as people, we all come out of the human race mold. Ergonomics is the science of understanding the human body in relation to how we move and function. There are minimum and maximum dimensions, which is why you fit comfortably in most chairs, go through doors without stooping, and even find the door handle at the right height. Knowing the “average” sizes of the people mold make most things in our world reliable. The mold you came out of determined your gender, skin color, hair and eye color, determined height, bone structure, and genetic propensities. Some things can be changed regardless of the mold which are mental, emotional, psychological, educational, experiential, and spiritual. Those are internal and the Bible has a verse that tells parents to pay attention to the mold of training up a child. “ Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he won’t depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 Any of us can gain or loose weight, change our hair color, and dress as we choose. We cam fluff up our hair and wear platform shoes to appear taller. We can wear clothing with padding in the right places to look fuller or stronger. Make-up can be a game changer and none is better at this than the movie/ theater industry. Those are just external. I love the verse, “…for the LORD doesn’t see as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart. I Samuel 16:7 Conforming in society and culture to a certain degree helps us feel like we belong. Right now it keeps us from being arrested or fined. While some love to stand out all the time, be the center of attention for good or for bad, most people aren't comfortable being on public display. People who are genetically deformed or disabled often express a desire to be invisible because they are stared at, or ignored by people who don’t know how to approach or engage them. If we see people through God’s heart it doesn't matter what they look like. We can value them by looking them right in the eye, smiling, and reaching out. We like assortment. When we are shopping we want to choose something that expresses a specific interest or taste, especially a gift. We like the freedom to make choices and comparisons. But the flip side of that is that we demand and expect perfect conformity to a standard when it’s our favorite food, or an advertised brand. Franchises and chain stores exist to give shoppers exactly what they expect from one location to another. We expect a Big Mac to taste the same in Canada as the USA (come out of the same mold!) Some stores build from the ground up and create layouts and traffic patterns that can be adapted to different locations so any shopper has an identical shopping experience. When I am sourcing for a client in HomeSense or Winners, even though they rarely have the same items from store to store, they have the same departments and categories somewhat in the same place That’s their ‘mold’! Manufacturers work hard to develop and produce products that will make it through quality control and match their advertised standard perfectly. This is part of what makes a brand popular and profitable. But because of competition that makes a free market work, they have to have some features that are noticeably different or better. So how do we manage in a world where we want to be recognized for our uniqueness, feel special, and note worthy. Many are being exposed for the first time to the world through Live Streaming, Zoom, Skype, and other face time platforms. We all know that after this Corona confinement none of us will be the same. We are still looking to be helped both inside and out to bring out the best of what is already in us. We aren't like products in a competition against our fellow human beings. We can compete to win games and spelling bees, but our identity should never be in whether we win at things like that or not. Our identity is in the One who made the mold used to bring us to earth for such a time as this. When you were born, He broke the mold. We are like the Psalmist said, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul ( mind, will and emotion) knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14 You were born an original, don’t die a copy.
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 There’s a saying, “A Rose by any other name is still a rose.” A bush is like a community. It has a single root cluster from which several canes shoot up out of the ground and in turn multiply in smaller branches until the tips show buds with leaves that eventually bloom. In nature they turn to seeds which can be sown into good soil and produce a rose bush for a following season. Roses come in as many colors and varieties as you can imagine, and so do humans in their communities. If you do a survey of the most recognized fragrance or flower in any nation in the world, the rose comes up near the top every time. In India where I grew up as a Missionary Kid, people put rose water in making confectionery and you could taste it. Rose infused creams, soaps, and lotions were the most popular. Rose perfume was the most available in the markets. Here in the province of Alberta in Canada our provincial flower is the wild rose. They bloom all over the countryside and high into the foothills of the Rockies. They are found on bushes as are most roses. When you see the long stemmed roses from the florist, they have been grafted, cultured, and genetically propagated to produce an expected end. But they begin as a bush. All parts of the rose are have value. Rose petals are often sought after for their sheer beauty because they carry the color and scent, strewn on a brides pathway down the aisle, floating on a candle lit bath, or crushed to extract the essential oil. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good. Gen 1:12 If you’ve ever had rose hip tea it’s rich tart flavor satisfies your body with a healthy dose of vitamin C. There are more varieties of roses than you can imagine, just like people, none of whom are identical. Roses come in many different colors that each have a special meaning. People too come in different colors that we want to refer to as "races" but for me there's only one race, and that's the "human race"! We're still all like roses, and a rose by any other name is still a rose. All this comes with thorns! Yes, there are thorns in our communities. They make some of us prickly and hard to handle. But they can also represent the protection from predators and thieves! The lover in Song of Solomon says, "I am the rose of Sharon..." Roses have long stood for love in every culture. So let's love more while we grow in our communities.
 “Where’s there’s a will, there’s a way.” Is a common saying that related to motivation. It means if you really want to do something you’ll find a way. It doesn’t guarantee success, but it certainly gets you thinking about options and possibilities. In Christian tradition theirs is a song, “God will make a way, where there seems to be no way…” This distinguishes the parts of the way that we can do in the natural from what we have to depend on God to do in the super-natural, or spiritual realm.
We can move forward and do all that we know to do with the resources available. But we can’t be the fly on the wall in a board room where our name is coming up for discussion. We can’t determine who is going to drive by and see something we have done and want to find out who did it. We can’t even know who is going to read our ad, or even a column like this one. That is all ‘random’ meaning we can only imagine or guess… or depend on a loving God. My definition of “soul” is “mind, will, and emotion”. When a child has a strong will and is being stubborn or disobedient that will has to be broken or tempered. Not to take away the child’s intrinsic motivations of their natural gifts, but to keep them safe from themselves and others in the course of life. As a good employee we are motivated to bow to the will of the employer for the good of their market and the profits of the company that pay us. As a good consultant, I have to research the will of my clients to find out what they expect from my advice and abilities. What you have to offer may just be the “way” someone needs to exercise the will they have to see something done. In the pandemic, you may be the “way” for someone to get their groceries, or get safely to an appointment. Your advice may offer the “way” for them to stay safe, sound, and sane! I have found that Zoom makes a way for me to get face-to-face with friends and family, some of whom I haven’t seen for years! The Christ said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Jesus made the ultimate way for us to have our sins forgiven to get our ticket to heaven for eternity, and to have a “way” to live a victorious, fear-free life in this world. I’ve lived many ways and have found His way to be the best. Feel free to explore that for yourself.  “Done like dinner.” Is an expression we use to say "It's done". Meaning "it’s over, finished, and there’s no more to do". After a nice big dinner I sometimes say, “I'm fed up,” as a compliment to the cook communicating that I'm full. I ate a lot. It was good. The tongue in cheek, or sarcasm is a way of teasing, bringing levity to the situation. But let’s look at the word “done” and see when it feels good and when it doesn't.
Many of us know what it’s like to be at the end of our rope and walk away saying, “I'm so done!” In this context we feel like we have done all we can, our patience has worn thin, or we just can’t get the outcome we want. If you've ever driven by a half painted house or fence, you know that someone was so done that they quit. My imagination runs through the reasons, or excuses. Ran of paint. Didn't like the color. Had an emergency that pulled them away. Got a sunburn from painting in the sun in shorts and tank top with no hat, shade, or sun screen, speaking from experience. By doing this I give what I’m seeing a benefit of doubt and I’m full of mercy and forgiveness. Looking back on my own “so done” situations, I’m still justifying why I threw in the towel and quit. I may have gone back and tried again with a new perspective, better tools, or in the case of the house paint followed the shade around the house. I may have apologized or had a serious discussion of the event to make peace so things could get done properly. On schedule. Maybe with a few compromises. And that’s the done that is the good one. There’s something about stepping back, and looking at a project, or attending a grand opening for a client’s project and knowing it’s done. Life has a way of helping us to know when things really are done and we have to step away. If you or I are perfectionists and obsess too much the joy and creativity is taken away. My daughter hates the words, “good enough”. But as she gets older and projects pile up, she has decided that something can be done even if it isn't perfect. In the Bengali language they have a saying that when translated means, “A blind eyed uncle is better than no uncle at all.” And that’s become a saying my husband and I use from time to time when something needs fixing before being replaced completely. Is it a blind uncle? Yes. But it’s also done! The Christ on the cross let us know when He was done with being the perfect sacrifice for our sins. It was like putting enough money in a bank to meet the need of every person until the end of time. That includes us today in our generation. His last words were, “It is finished.” What He came to do was done. It appeared the greatest failure and end to a very great man. But like when our life’s done, it will just be the beginning. Speaking of done, my new book is called, “Done-With-Dementia” because of what we did to keep our parents together. When they died we, and they, were really done with dementia. (link)  It's just dawning on us that this Covid-19 pandemic may confine us longer than we imagined and we feel like we are fishing in the dark and not catching anything.
When someone says, “Hey, it just dawned on me….” they are confessing to having a thought cross their mind that now has some significance or special meaning. We use the illustration of the light bulb coming on to symbolize the birth of an idea, revelation, understanding, or an epiphany. ( for which I’d rather use cymbals crashing ) I love to get up early, especially in the summer, and sit outside facing east with a sweater on and a cup of coffee to keep my hands warm. The hour just after the sun breaks is called the ‘golden hour’ by photographers who have to be on location before dawn to catch what the first rays reveal or reflect. In Toronto I used to sit on the front stoop before dawn. I would hear a drone in the distance as the first plane was coming in to land at the airport right at six. In Alberta, far Northwest of Ontario, our sunrises go from early in the summer to late in the winter over a twelve month period. Winter days are so short that people go to work and come home in the dark. In the summer, kids are still playing in the parks at ten in the evening as dusk comes on. This is why we have three layers of window coverings in our bedroom that faces east. A blind, black-out drapes, and decorative lace curtains that all open and close for maximum options. My illustration is a reminder of the time our family rented a little cottage in Banff for a few days away. On at least one day we would go to the hot springs and let the smelly rotten-egg Sulphur water take toxins out and relax us to the point of exhaustion by day's end. At least once we would splurge and go out to a steakhouse for a nice dinner, also making for a good night’s sleep. I was the oldest, a teenager in rebellion and wanting independence most of the time. I didn't really think these family outings were that cool. Dad announced on our last visit there that he was going fishing early in the morning and who ever wanted to come with him, had to be up and ready. I decided it might be an adventure to experience. I slept with my ear listening for when Dad got up and jumped into my clothes. We drove the car over to the river where Dad had arranged to rent a small aluminium row boat. It was dark in the town because even though the sun had come up, the mountains are so high that it takes awhile for the sun to shine over them. As we rowed, mostly along the shore, Dad explained that the fish bite better when there’s no sun to create a shadow from the boat. He also made me be quiet and talk in hushed tones so we wouldn't scare the fish. I can’t remember if he had bait or just fishing lures. I do remember how calm and peaceful it was. Suddenly it dawned on me that they would be going back to India and leaving me after graduation. Having my Dad all to myself and letting him share a passion he didn't get to do very often was a memory I knew I wanted to keep. He kept saying how good this fish was going to taste when we got back to our cabin and fried it up for breakfast. I frowned at that knowing he might be the only one excited at that prospect, especially when we had all discussed having breakfast at a famous local pancake house. No matter what happens at night, dawn is going to bring a new day. Jesus walked with fishermen and in the New Day after his resurrection, He visited his disciples who had gone fishing all night and caught nothing. They didn't recognize him as He told them to cast their nets on the other side of the boat. They caught more than they knew what to do with, almost tearing their nets. Then it dawned on them. The miracle opened their eyes to recognize Jesus on the shore. (I personally think he had them throw their nets on the side of the boat that had no shadow after what my Dad said, but I could be wrong.) Jesus knew that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so he invited them to the shore where he already had fish cooked for them to enjoy. He used this time to engage with them and settle some issues from the trauma of the crucifixion, especially with Peter who had denied him three times. John 21. After the last denial, when the cock crowed, it dawned on Peter that what Jesus had warned him about had come to pass. He had wept bitterly. Some things dawn on us to bring truth like realizing the short time I had with my Dad. Some bring regret, that we can repent for, even as Peter did when he affirmed his love for his Messiah, to leave fishing and feed sheep (followers of Jesus). May we use this time wisely as we wait for the dawn of the day when we are free to hug, hold hands, and it will finally dawn on us that the pandemic has past!  Fear, which we are all feeling during the COVID-19 pandemic, has been described as False Evidence Appearing Real. That at least makes me stop and look at what’s screaming at me and tempting me to panic or freeze. It helps identify the evidence, which may be real but still has to be faced and dealt with in a calm, collected and sane manner.
Fear can be faced with complete calm and logic when our souls are trained ahead of time. My definition of “soul” is my mind, will, and emotions. What I have in my ‘heart’ or soul, will automatically come out when I am attacked by fear. My favourite example is that of body guards who are trained to jump up instead of down when gun fire goes off. A simulator will train a pilot to experience everything that can go wrong. IF the time comes, there may be natural fear, but it’s quickly and easily overcome by the mind, will, and emotion so disaster is avoided. Fear of the virus can be dealt with in the soul by looking at a different description of the acronym COVID, sent to me by a friend down east, which is Christ Over Viruses, Infections and Death! That means we have been through our simulator of Biblical principles that cause us to obey the laws of the land and submit to those in authority over us, but we don’t accept or live in fear in our minds, wills, and emotions. My favourite “Fear Not” verses with what’s happening right now are Christ-quotes: -“Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.” Matthew 10:26 We hear so many ‘conspiracy theories’ and we don’t know what the truth about this virus is. We can only wait and see knowing that truth eventually comes out “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28 Since my soul is saved and heaven is my home when I die, I don’t have to fear the ultimate, eternal death. My favourite other verses are: -“He (God) will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 When you are in business, like we are, the discouragement comes from facing financial slowdowns and not knowing when the market will open for our tourist customers. Since I have no control over that I’m looking at what I do have control over. And you are witnessing that as a reader of this blog. I can be in my happy place writing, sharing, pondering, meditating, and illustrating with art for a creative expression that is relaxing and satisfying. Whether anyone reads them or not, responds or not, or even makes derogatory comments from differing viewpoints, doesn’t matter. I have nothing to be afraid of when I’m operating in faith and exercising my natural gifts. My confidence is that “this too shall pass.” Fear not, Linda!  When someone says, “Time will tell…” that usually means you have to wait and see, which most of us don’t like to do. We want to know the outcome now, at least the best guess, an approximate, or a forecast we can pin our hopes to realistically. How many times during the pandemic have we seen charts show where the ‘flattening of the curve’ is that might tell us the time is right to go back to work, or hug our friend?
So if time will tell, what does it tell? It tells if something turned out as expected. Take the simple seed. When you put it in the ground, you sow it It has to be left to the nurturing of the soil and it takes time. Time will tell if it’s even going to germinate and begin to root all in the unseen realm. Time will tell if it’s going to send little shoots to the surface to manifest it’s life. More time will tell if it will survive the elements above ground, the wind, storms, sun, and sometimes trampling or even digging up, roots and all. Time will tell if the soil did it’s job or needed composting and fertilizer. Time will tell how many weeds are going to spring up from nowhere and compete for the ground. Most of all, time will tell if the plant will produce after it’s own kind: seeds. Seeds to eat or sow. A harvest. We all know some plants are a one season crop and others take years and years before they yield fruit, much less a seed to reproduce. So if we have to let time tell all that, why do we get impatient and frustrated with our current circumstances. Corporations have projected statement of earnings which is their best guess, with as much data and research as possible to figure out what time should tell, all things being equal. Who could have guessed that a little virus, unseen that every living being is afraid to get and doesn’t want would put us into the biggest Time Will Tell season of earth’s history to date. Most of us have our lives on hold and are holding onto our savings and finances in case there isn't more where that came from. Time as we know it is only found on earth as days, nights, weeks, months, years, centuries, and millennium. Right now time is only telling us what we know in the present and isn’t this what God told Moses at the proverbial burning bush encounter? Moses asks, “Who should I say is sending me? And God said, “I am” is sending you. Not "I was" or "I will be", but always am... in the present! In your present. Exodus 3:14 Someone has said, “The Present is a present because it’s all we have.” And we all have exactly the same amount of time per day. The only difference comes in the number of years we live out our lives. Someone said, “Only one life, will soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.” If that’s true. Time Will Tell.  Yes. It's an ant's eye view. And you might think that with the corona confinement golf isn't going to open as an "essential" service. But it is. Yup. The news reported that in Saskatchewan, a province next to Alberta, social distancing rules have been put in place so the game can go on. For starters only one person to a cart. That's all I heard but it's a start to making the summer 'normal' or at least fun for die hard golfers.
That begs the question if other less involved and expensive activities are going to be allowed. Like places for kids to play, or swim, or hang out. I'm always amused at what activities get the attention and the go ahead. For the sake of the economy, I'll be happy that golf courses are opening. "FORE" is the cry of a player who has just launched the ball and wants to make sure anyone in the path of it has heads up to watch for it. In my book, Done-With-Dementia: Keeping Your Parents Together I use the acronym F.O.R.E to list the most important things to remember in caring for them. I know if you've read this blog this far, you may be disappointed that I've changed the subject but hang with me a minute. Life is a lot like golf. My husband and I often watch the weekend golf tournaments and I must say I've noticed some comparisons to life. Firstly, no matter how prepared, equipped, experienced, or famous a player is, much can happen unexpectedly to affect the game. Like caring for your parents and doing what you can with dementia, all our preparations helped and gave us more confidence as we went into it, but nothing prepared us for what would happen along the way that we had little control of. It isn't the long shots to get to the hole, it's those short shots called "putting" that puts the player ahead or behind. So here's me yelling "FORE" before you launch the senior care-giving ball. F. is for FAMILIAR. Having the most familiar things around your parent is critical if or when their memory begins to go. Many things in life we've done for so long, we can almost do them without any thought, let alone memory, as long as nothing has moved. This goes for friends, family, and professional help too. I went out of my way to make sure my parents went to the same doctors, eye & ear care professionals, and even the hairdressers they were used to. It was obvious when they saw these people, the familiarity was there. Even little things like the way they eat, dress, and programs they watch keep their mood good when everything is as it has always been. O stands for ORGANIZE and this was especially true when I had to set up shifts for other caregivers coming and going. When routines and appointments were logged for each caregiver to follow there was harmony and flow to each day. Everything had a place, and was in it's place, and labelled if necessary. This included sanitary and cleaning items and special instructions on specific food items or medications. Being organized also helped to see when supplies needed to be stocked up making fewer trips to the store. R stands for ROUTINE and that was also part of the organizing and using the routines Mom and Dad were most familiar with. For example, they always had breakfast first and Dad had to be dressed before he would leave the bedroom. Mom had breakfast in her housecoat and we could dress her after while Dad watched the news. Once settled in their chairs in the living room, they would have a daily Bible reading and a prayer. Then they were set for the day with either appointments, or mid morning coffee in or out, depending on the weather. Naps were always right after lunch until "tea time" mid afternoon and supper was early enough coinciding with a shift change. Eight o'clock 'snack' was finished in time for evening Bible reading and prayer before getting ready for bed. Lights out was nine o'clock. Some of the routine was weekly for things like laundry, housekeeping, and garbage removal. In the summer it included mowing the lawn, but that didn't affect them. Going to church on Sunday was part of the weekly routine, as was taking Dad to garage sales on Saturdays. I budgeted for lunch out at least once on the weekend and it included whoever was caregiving. For me monthly routines were paying bills, paying non-volunteer help, and a grocery run. E is last but not least and should really be at the top. It stands for ENDURING POWER OF ATTORNEY and assigning the legal decision making to someone while the parents could still make that call. This is vital for families to do ahead of when it becomes necessary. The legal things put in place should also include their wills and personal directives that outline life support under specific conditions. Like I said, this game is like golf and you want to be prepared and equipped as much as possible and ready to do your best for the long shots and the puts!  Next time you wave to someone and hear yourself saying, “Take care!” stop and think about what you just said. A preacher once said he used to do that until he saw the verse, “Casting all your care upon Him (God); for He careth for you.” I Peter 5:7 He stopped to see if there was a difference between taking and casting. My favourite place to go before the snow runs off the mountains is fishing with my husband. We took my grandson one year. We fish way down in the exposed bottom of the lake with a stream running through it before the damn is closed. It’s full of white mountain trout and we always catch a couple so it was our best bet for him. You cast the line with the bait into the middle of the stream and wait. Then you cast it on one side or the other of the stream and wait. Then you can walk down to the damn that’s almost wide open and cast it in there and wait. Once you find out where the fish are you can cast a lot of times in that spot. Then you don't have to wait as long. You only stop casting when you’re at the limit, which is five per person, or when you are tired of waiting and decide to go home. This is what comes to my mind when I think of “casting all my care upon Him…” In every day terms, we cast our care on someone who cares about us. If we are in the hospital, we cast our care upon the doctors, nurses, and specialists. If we are hungry at the restaurant we cast our care upon the one waiting on us and in particular the one cooking the food in the kitchen, who we probably never see. We do use the expression “take care” to mean pay attention, or watch how you are doing something that needs focus and skill. But in the days in which we are puttering through a pandemic we definitely want to cast our care upon God. In my mind He is the only one who can see us through this when there are so many unknowns and no set dates for a closure. In the case of fishing, you have to “take care” how you cast, how you you’re your line from getting tangled, and mostly how you bring in the fish into the net so you don’t lose it when it’s fighting. I’m so comforted in casting my care upon Him, because it says He cares for me. Another favourite verse is, “ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5&6 We directed our grand son's paths to our favorite fishing spot and he cast all his care for the day on us. Because we love him. And the fish went into the freezer at home so he could show off the results of the casting!
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AuthorLinda McKendry, renaissance girl accused of doing too many things. Loves to educate, motivate, inspire, and empower (entertain). ArchivesCategories |
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